Student life can be filled with to-dos, books and deep study. At times, many students find themselves getting lost in books, course catalogues or assignments. It's good to be able to concentrate and be alone, enjoying your own company. It's just not good if being alone turns into loneliness.
If you've experienced feelings of loneliness, you're not the only one; 45% of students at Aarhus University have felt lonely during their studies according to the 2021 study environment survey.
Below is a collection of other students' experiences of loneliness while studying:
You can be alone without being lonely. For example, you can sit alone for an entire exam period immersed in preparation and revision without feeling lonely. As long as there’s a match between the situation and your expectations of the situation, you will rarely feel lonely.
Similarly, you can be surrounded by fellow students, for example at a Friday bar or lecture, and still feel lonely. Feelings of loneliness can arise if you don't feel like you belong or if you wish you had a different relationship with your fellow students than the one you have.
“Loneliness can be understood as the feeling or state that occurs when a person experiences a discrepancy between the social life they have and the social life they want to have.”
Maryfonden, 2014
If your feelings of loneliness become too strong or persistent, it's important to stop and maybe even seek help and support.
The feeling of loneliness can arise for many reasons.
For example:
Being alone with thoughts and feelings  | If you are alone with your thoughts and feelings and if you think that others won't understand or accept your thoughts and feelings. |
Being alone with something difficult
| Being alone with things or in certain situations. It could be failing an exam, heartbreak, feeling out of place in your studies or having doubts about your course. It can also be other things like loss, illness or having a physical or mental condition. |
Not being seen for who you are
| Loneliness can also come from a deep desire to be seen and loved for who you are. |
In connection with something new
| Loneliness can also be caused by a new degree programme, or moving to a new city or another country. |
A throwback from childhood
| Loneliness can stem from childhood and follow into adolescence. |
Realising and admitting to yourself that you're lonely can be fraught with emotion. For some, it can make them feel wrong, embarrassed or something else. But what loneliness is really telling you is that you're missing something or that something in your life isn't quite what you dream of. You can act on that if you realise what you're missing.
To overcome loneliness, start by thinking about what you want more of in your life.
Perhaps you will find an idea in this list:
If there is a mismatch between the social life you have and the social life you would like, then it’s important that you do something to change things. Loneliness is an emotion, and emotions can be changed.
Every time you open up to someone else, you’re likely to feel less lonely.
Put your feelings into words
| Fortæl om, hvordan du har det. Når du åbner op for, hvordan du har det, giver du både andre mulighed for at hjælpe dig og mulighed for at spejle jer i hinanden. Ved at tale højt, kan du opdage, at andre har den samme følelse som dig. |
If you need someone to talk to  | If you don't know who to talk to, then reach out to student guidance, the student line, student chaplains or other offers of help and support. |
It takes time to change a situation and build relationships.
Here are some suggestions about being patient and reminding yourself that you're on your way:
Be good to yourself  | Find out what makes you feel good and try to make it a priority. If you do things that make you happy and energised, you'll have more energy for things that are more difficult. It's easier to work on changing feelings of loneliness if you have energy from elsewhere. |
Fulfil your basic needs  | Your physical energy has an impact on your mental state. So make sure you get plenty of fresh air, you sleep and eat well, and you give yourself the best possible basis for changing your situation. |
Use nature  | Nature can give us all a sense of connectedness, so getting out into nature can help reduce feelings of loneliness. |
Be patient  | It takes time to get out of loneliness. So patience is important. Think of it as a process. Try out different strategies and practise. Even the smallest step is a step in the right direction. |
